BEING STRONG ON THE SIDELINES
My name is Elias. I’m a semi-professional football coach and work with the U16s (15-year-old boys) at ERC Hoeilaart. My place is on the sidelines, but my commitment goes far beyond just tactics and training. For me, football is also a place where young people can breathe, grow and be themselves.
I started coaching when I was 17. Not because I dreamed of fame or titles, but because I felt a strong urge to guide young people, especially those aged around 14 to 15. That’s a period when young people experience enormous pressure: from friends, from expectations, from ‘how you’re supposed to be’. In football in particular, I notice that boys often don’t dare to show who they really are. I wanted to approach that differently. I want to offer them a safe space where performance matters, but people matter more.
“For me, football isn’t just about winning. It’s about having the courage to be yourself, even when the stands are roaring.”
One of the moments I’m most proud of is the project that saw me named Youth Football Coach of the Year by Voetbal Vlaanderen. I brought together 14 13-year-old boys from different regional teams. Boys who didn’t know each other, with different backgrounds, personalities and playing levels. At first, there was a lot of friction. There was a great deal of resistance, including from outside the group. But we kept working: on trust, connection and football with a vision.
In the end, we were allowed to take part in a tournament featuring top-flight teams. To me, that felt like a huge victory, not just in sporting terms, but above all on a human level.
“The idea that a gay man can be taken seriously as a football coach is still not something that comes naturally to many people.”
I identify as a gay man. I don’t hide that, but speaking openly about it in football is still difficult. It remains a sensitive subject. The idea that a gay man can be taken seriously as a football coach is not yet a given for many people. I’m the only one at my club. Some players and board members know, but it’s usually not spoken about. It hangs in the air somewhere.
What gives me strength is my wonderful circle of friends, who help me be open about my identity. Together with Thibeau from Trans Fitness, I have real support within our community. There, I’m given the space to grow into who I am. For instance, Thibeau’s boyfriend painted my nails for the first time and I love it! To my younger self, I’d like to say that people sometimes think in very narrow ways and that you have to stand your ground and dare to engage in the conversation.
“Recognition and role models give me courage. The negative reactions don’t outweigh the support.”
During matches, I sometimes have insults hurled at me. “Gay” is used by other coaches or players, often “without meaning it”. But words have an impact. Even when they’re said carelessly. As far as tolerance is concerned, I did feel there was more openness at my former club, OHL, than there is now. At provincial level, I find it’s more difficult these days.
One day, I want to coach a team of 16-year-old boys who dare to set an example by, for instance, playing in rainbow shirts. Boys who show that football and inclusivity go hand in hand. To young LGBTQIA+ athletes, I want to say this: “Dare to make a difference, even if it’s just with small gestures — a rainbow armband, a tattoo, a detail. Even small things can have a big impact.”
Here’s to a more inclusive world of football!